Author · American · 1835 – 1910 · 210 quotes
It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions.
Mark Twain
Author · American · 1835 – 1910
Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others.
It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
What a wee little part of a person's life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself.
A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.
I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one.
There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.
The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
Words are only painted fire; a look is the fire itself.
We Americans... bear the ark of liberties of the world.
You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal.
I have made it a rule never to smoke more that one cigar at a time.
To be good is noble; but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble.
Such is the human race, often it seems a pity that Noah... didn't miss the boat.
In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.
Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.
Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to.
When red-haired people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn.
It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
Prophesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks.
We have the best government that money can buy.
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.
Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.
Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.
Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.
Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
The lack of money is the root of all evil.
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.
No sinner is ever saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon.
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.
'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
Everything has its limit - iron ore cannot be educated into gold.
Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream.
A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.
