Mark Twain Quotes | GloryQuotes

Mark Twain Quotes About Honesty

Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain't so.

Why shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense.

Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.

It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.

Mark Twain Quotes About Education

Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.

God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.

Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.

Don't let schooling interfere with your education.

I never let schooling interfere with my education.

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

More Quotes by Mark Twain

Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.

What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce.

The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.

Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied.

Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.

Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.

When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet in his private heart no man much respects himself.

Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.

It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.

The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.

A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.

The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven.

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation.

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.

A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape.

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.

Man - a creature made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.

The educated Southerner has no use for an 'R', except at the beginning of a word.

If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later.

I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up.

The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.

Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work.

All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure.

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

It is not best that we should all think alike; it is a difference of opinion that makes horse races.

My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.

The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.

Loyalty to the country always. Loyalty to the government when it deserves it.

What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.

The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.

Man was made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.

Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

Ideally a book would have no order to it, and the reader would have to discover his own.

Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written.

Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.

Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

Lord save us all from a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms.

Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.

Browse 210 quotes attributed to Mark Twain, listed in the source data as a American Author, organized around themes such as Honesty, Education, Life. Use the topic links to explore similar quotes, or browse the full author collection in one place.