Actor · American · 1879 – 1935 · 121 quotes
Last year we said, 'Things can't go on like this', and they didn't, they got worse.
Will Rogers
Actor · American · 1879 – 1935
It isn't what we don't know that gives us trouble, it's what we know that ain't so.
When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do well, that's Memoirs.
I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.
A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.
In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write but evidently can't read. If they could read their stuff, they'd stop writing.
The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.
Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each other, they would be Republicans.
This thing of being a hero, about the main thing to it is to know when to die.
On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.
There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators.
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.
The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf.
If the other fellow sells cheaper than you, it is called dumping. 'Course, if you sell cheaper than him, that's mass production.
You've got to go out on a limb sometimes because that's where the fruit is.
It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for.
Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in.
If you can build a business up big enough, it's respectable.
An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out.
People's minds are changed through observation and not through argument.
Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it.
One Ad is worth more to a paper than forty Editorials.
Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious.
The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer.
A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, "How is the president?"
Communism to me is one-third practice and two-thirds explanation.
An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's.
Chaotic action is preferable to orderly inaction.
There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.
The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing.
Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators.
Worrying is like paying on a debt that may never come due.
Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as well as prohibition did, in five years Americans would be the smartest race of people on Earth.
The schools ain't what they used to be and never was.
People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.
Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it... You take diplomacy out of war, and the thing would fall flat in a week.
The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. That's one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living.
I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him "father."
Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
Buy land. They ain't making any more of the stuff.
Things ain't what they used to be and never were.
When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds.
The best way out of a difficulty is through it.
So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way.
