Woody Allen Quotes – Page 2 | GloryQuotes

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

Marriage is the death of hope.

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.

I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.

I am two with nature.

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.'

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.