Comedian · American · 1818 – 1885 · 80 quotes
Wisdom has never made a bigot, but learning has.
Josh Billings
Comedian · American · 1818 – 1885
Advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give but dreadful uneasy to take.
A puppy plays with every pup he meets, but an old dog has few associates.
There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.
There are people who are always anticipating trouble, and in this way they manage to enjoy many sorrows that never really happen to them.
Reason often makes mistakes, but conscience never does.
The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease.
Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.
There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.
Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.
It is better to know nothing than to know what ain't so.
Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius.
Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense.
Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute.
When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I give it to him.
Old maids sweeten their tea with scandal.
It is not all bad, this getting old, ripening. After the fruit has got its growth it should juice up and mellow. God forbid I should live long enough to ferment and rot and fall to the ground in a squash.
Remember the poor, it costs nothing.
No one can disgrace us but ourselves.
