Josh Billings Quotes | GloryQuotes

Josh Billings Quotes About Money

The man whose only pleasure in life is making money, weighs less on the moral scale than an angleworm.

Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread.

About the only difference between the poor and the rich, is this, the poor suffer misery, while the rich have to enjoy it.

Time is like money, the less we have of it to spare the further we make it go.

I haven't got as much money as some folks, but I've got as much impudence as any of them, and that's the next thing to money.

Knowledge is like money: the more he gets, the more he craves.

It ain't often that a man's reputation outlasts his money.

Money will buy a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail.

Josh Billings Quotes About Life

If there was no faith there would be no living in this world. We could not even eat hash with any safety.

Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn't be any fun living in it, or profit.

Life is short, but it's long enough to ruin any man who wants to be ruined.

Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.

There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared: twins.

More Quotes by Josh Billings

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.

It is a very delicate job to forgive a man, without lowering him in his own estimation, and yours too.

About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment.

There's a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it.

As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family, she has a good right to them.

There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.

Learning sleeps and snores in libraries, but wisdom is everywhere, wide awake, on tiptoe.

If a man should happen to reach perfection in this world, he would have to die immediately to enjoy himself.

Words are often seen hunting for an idea, but ideas are never seen hunting for words.

Threescore years and ten is enough; if a man can't suffer all the misery he wants in that time, he must be numb.

If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it, as the old woman did her lost spectacles, safe on her own nose all the time.

There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying.

I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home and have a good cry.

The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.

Man was created a little lower than the angels and has been getting a little lower ever since.

Don't ever prophesy; for if you prophesy wrong, nobody will forget it; and if you prophesy right, nobody will remember it.

Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place.

Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven; confess them to man and you will be laughed at.

There are two kinds of fools: those who can't change their opinions and those who won't.

I have lived in this world just long enough to look carefully the second time into things that I am most certain of the first time.

To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while.

Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors.

Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.

It's not only the most difficult thing to know one's self, but the most inconvenient.

Love is said to be blind, but I know some fellows in love who can see twice as much in their sweethearts as I do.

Economy is a savings-bank, into which men drop pennies, and get dollars in return.

One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is seasickness; a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs.

The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.

Common sense is the knack of seeing things as they are, and doing things as they ought to be done.

The trouble with people is not that they don't know but that they know so much that ain't so.

Men mourn for what they have lost; women for what they ain't got.

There is nothing so easy to learn as experience and nothing so hard to apply.

I have never known a person to live to be one hundred and be remarkable for anything else.

A good way I know to find happiness, is to not bore a hole to fit the plug.

Most people when they come to you for advice, come to have their own opinions strengthened, not corrected.

As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.

It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those that we intend to commit.

Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.

There is no greater evidence of superior intelligence than to be surprised at nothing.

Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel.

One of the rarest things that a man ever does, is to do the best he can.

One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness.

The road to ruin is always in good repair, and the travellers pay the expense of it.

Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight.

Woman's influence is powerful, especially when she wants something.

The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord that it ain't gout.

The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear.

Browse 80 quotes attributed to Josh Billings, listed in the source data as a American Comedian, organized around themes such as Money, Life, Time. Use the topic links to explore similar quotes, or browse the full author collection in one place.