I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother … — Erma Bombeck

I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do was die in alphabetical order.

Erma BombeckJournalist · American · 1927 – 1996

More from Erma Bombeck

Love matches, so called, have illusion for their father and need for their mother. — Friedrich Nietzsche
An author who speaks about their own books is almost as bad as a mother who speaks about her own children. — Benjamin Disraeli
The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness. — Honore de Balzac
There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child. — Erma Bombeck
A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. — Erma Bombeck
Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial. — Erma Bombeck