I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good… — Mitch Hedberg

I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.

Mitch HedbergComedian · American · 1968 – 2005

More from Mitch Hedberg

Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do. — Mark Twain
It is not sufficient to see and to know the beauty of a work. We must feel and be affected by it. — Voltaire
Old age is not a matter for sorrow. It is matter for thanks if we have left our work done behind us. — Thomas Carlyle
I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life. — Mitch Hedberg
I'm gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones. — Mitch Hedberg
Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny! — Mitch Hedberg