Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the plane… — Mitch Hedberg

Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'

Mitch HedbergComedian · American · 1968 – 2005

More from Mitch Hedberg

We are made wise not by the recollection of our past, but by the responsibility for our future. — George Bernard Shaw
The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time. — Mark Twain
The distinction between the past, present and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion. — Albert Einstein
I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life. — Mitch Hedberg
I'm gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones. — Mitch Hedberg
Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny! — Mitch Hedberg