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- Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship, and it is far the best ending for one.
- When a father gives to his son, both laugh; when a son gives to his father, both cry.
- A laugh, to be joyous, must flow from a joyous heart, for without kindness, there can be no true joy.
- To get a job where the only thing you have to do in your career is to make people laugh-well, it's the best job in the world.
- The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on.