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- In the duel of sex woman fights from a dreadnought and man from an open raft. — H. L. Mencken
- Friends are generally of the same sex, for when men and women agree, it is only in the conclusions; their reasons are always different. — George Santayana
- In the sex war, thoughtlessness is the weapon of the male, vindictiveness of the female. — Cyril Connolly
- Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house. — Lewis Grizzard
- The public, more often than not, will forgive mistakes, but it will not forgive trying to wriggle and weasel out of one. — Lewis Grizzard
- The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity. — Lewis Grizzard