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- Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.
- Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
- Every man has a right to a Saturday night bath.
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- Rich people who own mansions on the beach shouldn't get federal subsidies. If you want to stay there, take the risk.
- Mother Nature may be forgiving this year, or next year, but eventually she's going to come around and whack you. You've got to be prepared.