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I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.

Joan RiversComedian · American · b. 1933
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  • Man - a creature made at the end of the week's work when God was tired. — Mark Twain
  • Nothing is void of God, his work is everywhere his full of himself. — Lucius Annaeus Seneca
  • Man was made at the end of the week's work when God was tired. — Mark Twain
  • Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present. — Joan Rivers
  • She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven. — Joan Rivers
  • Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise. — Joan Rivers
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