I love women, but I feel like you can't trust some of them. Some of t… — Demetri Martin

I love women, but I feel like you can't trust some of them. Some of them are liars, you know? Like I was in the park and I met this girl, she was cute and she had a dog. And I went up to her, we started talking. She told me her dog's name. Then I said, 'Does he bite?' She said, 'No.' And I said, 'Oh yeah? Then how does he eat?' Liar.

Demetri MartinComedian · American · b. 1973

More from Demetri Martin

When a man has once loved a woman he will do anything for her except continue to love her. — Oscar Wilde
I see when men love women. They give them but a little of their lives. But women when they love give everything. — Oscar Wilde
Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship. — Oscar Wilde
The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades. — Demetri Martin
My plumbing is all screwed up. Because it turns out, I do not own a garbage disposal. — Demetri Martin
The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly. — Demetri Martin