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- What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce. — Mark Twain
- Man can never be a woman's equal in the spirit of selfless service with which nature has endowed her. — Mohandas Gandhi
- When a man has once loved a woman he will do anything for her except continue to love her. — Oscar Wilde
- Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house. — Lewis Grizzard
- The public, more often than not, will forgive mistakes, but it will not forgive trying to wriggle and weasel out of one. — Lewis Grizzard
- The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity. — Lewis Grizzard